Humor Quote by Christopher Moore — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place.”

“It’s sarcasm, Josh.”

“I've tried to get the angel to watch MTV so I can learn the vocabulary of your music, but even with the gift of tongues, I'm having trouble learning to speak hip-hop. Why is it that one can busta rhyme or busta move anywhere but you must busta cap in someone's ass? Is "ho" always feminine, and "muthafucka" always masculine, while "bitch" can be either? How many peeps in a posse, how much booty before baby got back, do you have to be all that to get all up in that, and do I need to be dope and phat to be da bomb or can I just be "stupid"? I'll not be singing over any dead mothers until I understand.”

“Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, you can't have a baby brother, because that would mean that Daddy had sex, and that's never going to happen again.”

“Hope is bulletproof, truth just hard to hit”

“There's some heinous fuckery goin' on mon.”

“Ask us no questions and we’ll tell you no lies.”

“Oh, Hazel is awesome," Don Said. "She's so nice! All the other campers are like 'Go away Don.' But she's like 'Please go away, Don.' I love her!”

“Harry, don't go picking a row with Malfoy, don't forget, he's a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you...”

“Bluestar blinked. "There are cats who would argue that there should never have been a fifth Clan in the forest at all. Why are there four oaks at Fourtrees, if not to stand for the four Clans?”

“Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either.”

“Before I speak, I have something important to say.”