Humor Quote by Groucho Marx — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“We'll meet at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat 'til you get there. Once you get there; you're on your own.”

“When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”

“Room service? Send up a larger room.”

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.”

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.”

“Nobody calls me 'blondie' and keeps their kneecaps.”

“I'm the warlock who's here to cure you. Didn't they tell you I was coming?”

“Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting.”

“Right," Sadie said. "And Set will just stand there calmly while I read him to death.”

“In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.”

“He turned to Frank who was trying to pull his fingers out of the Chinese handcuffs…”