Humor Quote by Dorothy Parker — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.”

“Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.”

“My love runs by like a day in June,”

“But I give you my word, in the entire book there is nothing that cannot be said aloud in mixed company. And there is, also, nothing that makes you a bit the wiser. I wonder--oh, what will you think of me--if those two statements do not verge upon the synonymous.”

“There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.”

“Be you wise and never sad,”

“Jessica, you are a pain in the arse, do you know that? If I were not so immensely fond of you, I should throw you out the window.”

“Hallucinations are bad enough. But after awhile you learn to cope with things like seeing your dead grandmother crawling up your leg with a knife in her teeth. Most acid fanciers can handle this sort of thing. But nobody can handle that other trip-the possibility that any freak with $1.98 can walk into the Circus-Circus and suddenly appear in the sky over downtown Las Vegas twelve times the size of God, howling anything that comes into his head. No, this is not a good town for psychedelic drugs.”

“Tessa exploded "I am not asking you to maul me in the Whispering Gallery! By the Angel, Will, would you stop being so polite?!”

“If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody come sit next to me.”

“Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.”

“Etiquette tip: If you're looking for the right time to leave a party, when the host yells, "No one leaves here alive," that's your cue.”