Humor Quote by Terry Pratchett — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Studies have shown that an ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no known limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty-year-old Spanish peasant grandmother.”

“Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.”

“Many people could say things in a cutting way, Nanny knew. But Granny Weatherwax could”

“I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?”

“WHAT FOR IS THIS BOX PADDED? IS IT TO BE SAT ON? CAN IT BE THAT IT IS CAT-FLAVOURED?”

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”

“People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life.'”

“Ooh, you look much tastier than Crabbe and Goyle, Harry" said Hermione, before catching sight of Ron's raised eyebrows, blushing slightly and saying "oh you know what I mean - Goyle's Potion looked like bogies.”

“So many books, so little time.”

“Just sit tight. Reinforcements should be here soon. Hopefully nothing happens before-”

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”

“So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.”