Humor Quote by George Carlin — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.”

“I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam.”

“I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.”

“It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot.”

“It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.”

“If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. And probably increase.”

“Sometimes when it looks like I'm deep in thought I'm just trying not to have a conversation with people.”

“God, I love a man who reads”

“You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed.”

“And, whoa!" He turned to Mr.D. "Your the wine dude? No way!”

“Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!”

“Breeze strolled over to the table and chose a seat with his characteristic decorum. The portly man raised his dueling cane, pointing it at Ham. 'I see that my period of intellectual respite has come to an end.'”