Humor Quote by Mark Twain — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.”

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”

“I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”

“Happiness is a Swedish sunset it is there for all, but most of us look the other way and lose it.”

“Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”

“If I were to construct a God I would furnish Him with some way and qualities and characteristics which the Present lacks.”

“Ceres wanted a united front in the plant war.”

“Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.”

“Humor is just another defense against the”

“If I was made of cake I'd eat myself before somebody else could.”

“In my mind, I'm probably the biggest sex maniac you ever saw.”

“He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.”