Humor Quote by Chuck Palahniuk — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Imagine there is no God. There is no Heaven or Hell. There is only your son and his son and his son, and the world you leave for them.”

“It sounds as if you'd like to be God.”

“You’ve thrown down the gauntlet. You’ve brought my wrath down upon your house. Now, to prove that I exist I must kill you. As the child outlives the father, so must the character bury the author. If you are, in fact, my continuing author, then killing you will end my existence as well. Small loss. Such a life, as your puppet, is not worth living.”

“If you're male, and you're Christian and living in America, your father is your model for God. And sometimes you find your father in your career.”

“You can tell people the truth, but they'll never believe you until the event. In the meantime, the truth will just piss them off and get you in a lot of trouble.”

“The amazing miracle of death, when one second you're walking and talking, and the next second you're an object.”

“If you're worried about safety, you might like to follow my example and put on that seat belt.”

“The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.”

“I still love him so much I'll hide any amount of conjugated estrogen in his food. So much I'll do anything to destroy him.”

“You know what would help?" I asked, not meeting his eyes.”

“Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!”

“I'm not going to tell you to trust me, because that's a terrible idea.”