Humor Quote by Jasper Fforde — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I didn't set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair census and learn some humility. But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mind.”

“Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well,”

“Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.”

“Bowden Cable is the sort of honest and dependable operative that is the backbone of SpecOps. They never win commendations or medals”

“Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.”

“I shouldn't believe anything I say, if I were you-and that includes what I just told you.”

“Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant”

“I looked to the ceiling and told God, “God, next time I want an adventure, strike me with lightning. You have my permission.”

“If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.”

“Money isn't everything...but it ranks right up there with oxygen.”

“And then Jack chopped down what was the world's last beanstalk, adding murder and ecological terrorism to the theft, enticement, and trespass charges already mentioned, and all the giant's children didn't have a daddy anymore. But he got away with it and lived happily ever after, without so much as a guilty twinge about what he had done...which proves that you can be excused for just about anything if you are a hero, because no one asks inconvenient questions.”

“No good deed goes unpunished.”