Humor Quote by Bill Watterson — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.”

“I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!”

“I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.”

“As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.”

“I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.”

“I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.”

“It smells terrible in here.'”

“The Prince found Buttercup waiting unhappily outside his chamber doors.”

“We did it, we bashed them wee Potter's the one, and Voldy's gone moldy, so now let's have fun!”

“You're an investigator - can't nobody find stuff out like a woman. Y'all put the police to shame, make the little investigative tricks they show on CSI and Law & Order: SVU look like counting lessons on Sesame Street.”

“That was the funniest thing I'd heard in days.”

“Writers don't make any money at all. We make about a dollar. It is terrible. But then again we don't work either. We sit around in our underwear until noon then go downstairs and make coffee, fry some eggs, read the paper, read part of a book, smell the book, wonder if perhaps we ourselves should work on our book, smell the book again, throw the book across the room because we are quite jealous that any other person wrote a book, feel terribly guilty about throwing the schmuck's book across the room because we secretly wonder if God in heaven noticed our evil jealousy, or worse, our laziness. We then lie across the couch facedown and mumble to God to forgive us because we are secretly afraid He is going to dry up all our words because we envied another man's stupid words. And for this, as I said, we are paid a dollar. We are worth so much more.”