Humor Quote by Eoin Colfer — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.”

“Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?”

“It took teams of LEP warlocks to slow down time for a few hours; the magic required to open a door to the tunnel was stupendous. It would be easier to shoot down the moon.”

“Hey, look—your”

“Me," Artemis blurted. "I'm the nut.”

“You know, Miss Holly, you look very dramatic like that, backlit by the fire. Very attractive, if I may say so. I know you shared a moment passionne with Artemis which he subsequently fouled up with his typical boorish behavior. Let me just throw something out there for you to consider while we're chasing the probe: I share Artemis's passion but not his boorishness. No pressure; just think about it.”

“The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.”

“The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?”

“You're alive!" Percy said to the others. "The giants said you were captured. What happened?”

“The champagne was dead. So it goes.”

“I meant what I said and I said what I meant. An elephant's faithful one-hundred percent!”

“Tyrion let the eunuch help him mount. "Lord Varys," he said from the saddle, "sometimes I feel as though you are the best friend I have in King's Landing and sometimes I feel you are my worst enemy.”