Humor Quote by Ilona Andrews — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I'm capable—”

“Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room.”

“It seems that the young woman made some indelicate suggestion of a threesome...When I got there, Miss Nash was standing by the hot tub in a small bikini, pointing the business end of a SIG-Sauer P-226 at her fella and concerned members of the hotel staff, while dunking the scantily clad female's head under the water and asking, "Who's diving for clams now, bitch?”

“Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place.”

“She surveyed the carnage behind him. "Did you have fun?”

“Just wait until he figures out I shut him out of his slut hut.”

“Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.”

“Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.”

“A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.”

“I believe it was Shakespeare, or possibly Howard Cosell, who first observed that marriage is very much like a birthday candle, in that 'the flames of passion burn brightest when the wick of intimacy is first ignited by the disposable butane lighter of physical attraction, but sooner or later the heat of familiarity causes the wax of boredom to drip all over the vanilla frosting of novelty and the shredded coconut of romance.' I could not have phrased it better myself.”

“I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking”