Humor Quote by Darynda Jones — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“When life hands you lemons say,”

“You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt”

“I do not," I felt oddly appalled by her statement. "I'm an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly.”

“At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated.”

“Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that.”

“In a moment of sheer terror, I realized I couldn't feel my brain. It was there just a minute ago. Maybe I really was dead. "Do I look dead to you?”

“Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”

“I have a great mind to believe in Christianity for the mere pleasure of fancying I may be damned.”

“Marsh: Our best efforts were never even a mild annoyance to the Lord Ruler.”

“As with most of life's problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation.”

“I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.”