Humor Quote by Darynda Jones — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that.”

“His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.”

“When life hands you lemons say,”

“Sorry. i just can't seem to help myself. My brain is freaking out. Two predawn mornings in a row. It doesn't know what to think, how to act. I'll have a talk with it later. Perhaps get it some counseling.”

“You called me at four thirty-four....I hate four thirty-four. I think four thirty-four should be banned and replaced with something more reasonable, like, say, nine twelve.”

“In a moment of sheer terror, I realized I couldn't feel my brain. It was there just a minute ago. Maybe I really was dead. "Do I look dead to you?”

“My”

“Can you be a girl for a few seconds?”

“What's that?”

“And Flock Rule Number Two is, Don't argue with Max or you'll live to regret it." I spun and stomped out to the clearing, turning back for one last jab at Dylan. "And by the way, you clearly DON'T know me better than Fang does. Do you see Fang arguing with me? No, you do not.”

“Five syllables," Apollo said, counting them on his fingers. "That would be real bad.”

“Butch tightened his grip on his cell and wished there were an app that let you reach through a phone and bitch slap someone.”