Humor Quote by P.G. Wodehouse — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.”

“It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet.”

“There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'”

“If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.”

“It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.”

“Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.”

“Me," Artemis blurted. "I'm the nut.”

“Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did?”

“One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem in becoming your own father or mother that a broad-minded and well-adjusted family can't cope with. There is no problem with changing the course of history—the course of history does not change because it all fits together like a jigsaw. All the important changes have happened before the things they were supposed to change and it all sorts itself out in the end.”

“Where is Wood?" said Harry, suddenly realizing he wasn't there.”

“So this is it," said Arthur, "We are going to die.”

“Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.”