Humor Quote by Dark Jar Tin Zoo — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal.”

“Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.”

“I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.”

“Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.”

“To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.”

“If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder.”

“Simon: So were you following me? Or is it just an amazing coincidence that you happened to be on the roof of a building I was walking by when I got attacked?”

“Monkeys can't talk, stupid!”

“We're playing Scrabble. It's a nightmare.”

“How ghastly for her, people actually thinking, with their brains, and right next door. Oh, the travesty of it all.”

“When I was poor and complained about inequality they said I was bitter; now that I'm rich and I complain about inequality they say I'm a hypocrite. I'm beginning to think they just don't want to talk about inequality.”

“Jesus!" Luke exclaimed.”