Humor Quote by Dark Jar Tin Zoo — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.”

“If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal.”

“Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.”

“I had a dream about you. We installed Dr. Robert Jarvik’s artificial heart in a mannequin and brought it to life, only to later kill it because a creature that’s all fake heart and no brain is what’s commonly called a “politician,” and must be destroyed.”

“Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.”

“To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.”

“Wit is educated insolence.”

“Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.”

“But, of course, you might be asking yourself, 'Am I a feminist? I might not be. I don't know! I still don't know what it is! I'm too knackered and confused to work it out. That curtain pole really still isn't up! I don't have time to work out if I am a women's libber! There seems to be a lot to it. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?'”

“This book will prove the following ten facts:”

“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”

“I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well, if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single political argument left.”