Humor Quote by Dark Jar Tin Zoo — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder.”

“If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal.”

“Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.”

“To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.”

“I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.”

“I had a dream about you. We installed Dr. Robert Jarvik’s artificial heart in a mannequin and brought it to life, only to later kill it because a creature that’s all fake heart and no brain is what’s commonly called a “politician,” and must be destroyed.”

“Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.”

“I need to know you believe me when I say I love you. That is all.”

“Now lemme get this straight," she said in a throaty, nasal voice. "You put the lime in the cocanut and drink 'em both up--whoa, long faces. What am I interrupting?”

“Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?" Harry interrupted again.”

“I can last two months on a good compliment.”

“hermes has threatened me with slow mail. lousy Internet service and a horrible stock market if i publish this story. I hope he is just bluffing.”