Humor Quote by Dark Jar Tin Zoo — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.”

“Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.”

“If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder.”

“I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.”

“If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal.”

“I had a dream about you. We installed Dr. Robert Jarvik’s artificial heart in a mannequin and brought it to life, only to later kill it because a creature that’s all fake heart and no brain is what’s commonly called a “politician,” and must be destroyed.”

“Basically, everyone thinks--knows--how sweet I am.”

“That’s the problem with you nearly immortal types,” I said. “You couldn’t spot a pop culture reference if it skittered up and implanted an embryo down your esophagus.”

“Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”

“There’s a fine line between support and stalking and let’s all stay on the right side of that.”

“Wow. When he started looking back on the war with Kronos as the good old days--that was sad.”

“As for monkeys, I would have five, and they would be named: See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, Do Pretty Much Whatever The Hell You Want, and Expensive Attorney.”