Humor Quote by Erma Bombeck — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Written on her tombstone: "I told you I was sick.”

“Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. "Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?" Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?" Wasn't there any change?”

“Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.”

“When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.”

“There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.”

“Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.”

“Your brain is doing some great work when it's laughing.”

“Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?”

“You here to finish me off, Sweetheart?”

“Women intrinsically understand human dynamics, and that makes them unstoppable. Unfortunately, the average man is less adroit at fostering such rivalries, which is why most men remain average; males are better at hating things that can't hate them back (e.g., lawnmowers, cats, the Denver Broncos, et cetera). They don't see the big picture.”

“I actually like how doctors talk. I like the sound of science. I like how words you don't understand explain things you can't understand.”

“I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.”