Humor Quote by Erma Bombeck — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. "Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?" Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?" Wasn't there any change?”

“Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.”

“When God Created Mothers”

“Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.”

“I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food”

“There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.”

“Now stand in the corner, and think about what you've done!”

“The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.”

“Whatever story you're telling, it will be more interesting if, at the end you add, "and then everything burst into flames.”

“I hate you," I muttered.”

“The more you talk about it, rehash it, rethink it, cross analyze it, debate it, respond to it, get paranoid about it, compete with it, complain about it, immortalize it, cry over it, kick it, defame it, stalk it, gossip about it, pray over it, put it down or dissect its motives it continues to rot in your brain. It is dead. It is over. It is gone. It is done. It is time to bury it because it is smelling up your life and no one wants to be near your rotted corpse of memories and decaying attitude. Be the funeral director of your life and bury that thing!”

“Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did?”