Humor Quote by Stephen Colbert — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family.”

“I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it.”

“If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.”

“America used to live by the motto "Father Knows Best." Now we're lucky if "Father Knows He Has Children." We've become a nation of sperm donors and baby daddies.”

“Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying “yes” begins things. Saying “yes” is how things grow. Saying “yes” leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say “yes'.”

“Well sure, who doesn't need a boyfriend? but realistically, those exotic creatures are hard to come by. At least a quality one.”

“She'd absolutely adored the library_an entire building where anyone could take things they didn't own and feel no remorse about it.”

“Welcome to Hell. Here's your accordion.”

“What makes you think that Valentine's change of plans had anything to do with your brother?”

“my good qualities are under your protection, and you are to exaggerate them as much as possible; and, in return, it belongs to me to find occasion for teasing and quarreling with you as often as may be...”

“A crossbow?” Pigeon asked.”