Humor Quote by Diana Wynne Jones — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Wizard Howl," said Wizard Suliman. "I must apologize for trying to bite you so often. In the normal way, I wouldn't dream of setting teeth in a fellow countryman.”

“So you were going to rescue the Prince! Why did you pretend to run away? To deceive the Witch?”

“You must admit I have a right to live in a pigsty if I want.”

“Annoyed?” said Sophie. “Why should I be annoyed? Someone only filled the castle with rotten aspic, and deafened everyone in Porthaven, and scared Calcifer to a cinder, and broke a few hundred hearts. Why should that annoy me?”

“You are a terror, aren't you? Leave this yard alone. I know just where everything is in it, and I won't be able to find the things I need for my transport spells if you tidy them up.'”

“I can't abide people who go soft over animals and then cheat every human they come across!”

“Michael has never cried during a Broadway show. Except in that scene where Tarzan's ape father is brutally murdered.”

“Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”

“This was very exciting. I'd never had two boys get into a fight over me before. The fact that one of the boys was my stepbrother, however, and held about as much romantic appeal for me as Max, the family dog, somewhat dampened my enthusiasm. And Michael wasn't much of a catch, either, when you actually thought about it, being a potential murderer and all. Oh, why did I have to have such a couple of losers fighting over me? Why couldn't Matt Damon and Ben Affleck fight over me? Now that would be truly excellent.”

“Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.”

“What are you talking about?" Narcissus demanded. "I am amazing. Everyone knows this.”

“Young people, nowadays, imagine that money is everything.”