Humor Quote by Terry Pratchett — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“How can you protect yourself by carrying a sword if you don’t know how to use it?’”

“It struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe. In the great party of Creation, he was always in the kitchen.”

“It was nice to hear the voices of little children at play, provided you took care to be far enough away not to hear what they were actually saying.”

“IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT /MEANT/ TO BE SAFE.”

“Gods don't like people not doing much work. People who aren't busy all the time might start to think.”

“All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need...”

“I can last two months on a good compliment.”

“It was a trap after all,” Alric said. He turned to Royce. “My apologies for doubting your sound paranoia.”

“Women intrinsically understand human dynamics, and that makes them unstoppable. Unfortunately, the average man is less adroit at fostering such rivalries, which is why most men remain average; males are better at hating things that can't hate them back (e.g., lawnmowers, cats, the Denver Broncos, et cetera). They don't see the big picture.”

“Husbands are chiefly good as lovers when they are betraying their wives.”

“Real life is sometimes boring, rarely conclusive and boy, does the dialogue need work.”

“I have a terrible memory; I never forget a thing.”