Humor Quote by Terry Pratchett — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!'”

“The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?”

“Death was standing behind a lectern, poring over a map. He looked at Mort as if he wasn’t entirely there.”

“We are here and it is now. The way I see it is, after that, everything tends towards guesswork.”

“DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.”

“I commend my soul to any god that can find it.”

“I took a speed-reading course and read”

“Adventures are never fun while you're having them.”

“25 And the Lord spake unto the Angel that guarded the eastern gate, saying 'Where is the flaming sword that was given unto thee?'”

“The longer and more carefully we look at a funny story, the sadder it becomes.”

“Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family.”

“Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tradition that has been carried on for hundreds of years, but that doesn't mean we should all attack ships and steal their gold.”