Humor Quote by Eoin Colfer — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over”

“You know, Miss Holly, you look very dramatic like that, backlit by the fire. Very attractive, if I may say so. I know you shared a moment passionne with Artemis which he subsequently fouled up with his typical boorish behavior. Let me just throw something out there for you to consider while we're chasing the probe: I share Artemis's passion but not his boorishness. No pressure; just think about it.”

“If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.”

“Hey, look—your”

“Who are you?" he asked.”

“Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?”

“Um...Mercer? Haven't seen you in nearly a month. I was expecting something like, 'Oh Cross, love of my heart, fire of my loins, how I've longed--”

“He gave her a sly, sideways look. "Did you”

“my good qualities are under your protection, and you are to exaggerate them as much as possible; and, in return, it belongs to me to find occasion for teasing and quarreling with you as often as may be...”

“Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”

“Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.”

“I wouldn't even consider it if I were you. But then if I were you, I would not be me, and if I were not me, I would not be able to advise you, and if I were unable to advise you, you'd do as you like, so you might as well do as you like and have done with it.”