Humor Quote by James Patterson — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“A friend of mine once defined love as finding someone you can talk to late into the night”

“Q: You'er presented with a smooth-faced, eight-foot-high wooden wall. Your objective? Get over it. To, like, save comrades or something. How to accomplish this?”

“Basically, I have two speeds.... Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice.”

“So the first thing we're gonna do," I told him, "is push you off the roof.”

“That was the funniest thing I'd heard in days.”

“Marty, my mother used to say "Never get greedy with God." I think what she meant was "Don't dare ask for more if you already have what you need."”

“Everytime I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”

“Did you eat my Twinkies?”

“A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.”

“She's so small, yet she contains so much evil.”

“Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. It is the universe's way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast. Listen to the music. Whoa whoa, listen to the music. Because music makes the people come together, it makes the bourgeois and the rebel. So come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody try to love one another. Because what the world needs now is love, sweet love. And I know that love is a battlefield, but boogie on reggae woman because you're gonna make it after all. So celebrate good times, come on. I've gotta stop I've gotta come to my senses, I've been out riding fences for so long... oops I did it again... um... What I'm trying to say is, if you leave tonight and you don't remember anything else that I've said, leave here and remember this: Procrastinate now, don't put it off.”