Humor Quote by Mark Twain — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.”

“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).”

“Whoever is happy will make others happy, too.”

“Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”

“April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.”

“Really, these wizards! You'd think no one had ever had a cold before! Well, what is it?" she asked, hobbling through the bedroom door onto the filthy carpet.”

“Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.”

“I have never heard a lady say 'arse,'" the emperor said mildly.”

“There will be no yelling at people who are bleeding themselves to unconsciousness.”

“I swear that woman had a previous career as a death-hunter selling tragic ballads down around the Seven Dials," said Will. "And I do wish she wouldn't sing about poisoning just after we've eaten.”

“If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.”