Humor Quote by P.G. Wodehouse — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet.”

“Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.”

“If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.”

“I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.”

“I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare -- or, if not, it's some equally brainy lad -- who says that it's always just when a chappie is feeling particularly top-hole, and more than usually braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with a bit of lead piping.”

“Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.”

“I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.”

“A certain man once lost a diamond cuff-link in the wide blue sea, and twenty years later, on the exact day, a Friday apparently, he was eating a large fish - but there was no diamond inside. That’s what I like about coincidence.”

“Why were you lurking under our window?”

“I cling to him, wishing I could ease his pain. I wish I could take his burdens and make them mine.”

“There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says "Morning, boys. How's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes "What the hell is water?”

“Yes, boys are a little like shoes. Why? Well...They can be useful. But mainly...They are nice to look at. Getting the right one can be a lovely accessory to an outfit. There are times when you couldn't do without them. And there are times when you'd rather do without them. Get the wrong ones and they can hurt. There are many types and often the ones that look the nicest are completely unpractical.”