Humor Quote by Jonathan Stroud — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Death is fugitive; even when you're watching for it, the actual instant somehow slips between your fingers. You don't get that sudden drop of the head you see in movies. Instead you simply sit there, waiting for something to happen, and all at once you realize you've missed it.”

“Check out that one at the end. He's taken the form of a footstool. Weird...but somehow I like his style.”

“Can you define "plan" as "a loose sequence of manifestly inadequate observations and conjectures, held together by panic, indecision, and ignorance"? If so, it was a very good plan.”

“Sorry for what? Your appearance? Your character? Wait, I bet it’s your smell. Twenty-four hours of terror, violence, chases, and being for all intents and purposes dead plays havoc with the armpits. Don’t let Lockwood step downwind of you tonight, that’s all I’m saying.”

“I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare -- or, if not, it's some equally brainy lad -- who says that it's always just when a chappie is feeling particularly top-hole, and more than usually braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with a bit of lead piping.”

“Don't run I never liked fast food”

“One morning you wake up with more life behind you than in front of you, not being able to understand how it’s happened.”

“Oh, dear God and baby Jesus in the manger, my eyes!” Dee shrieked. “My eyes!”

“Now stand in the corner, and think about what you've done!”

“Man is certainly stark mad; he cannot make a worm, and yet he will be making gods by dozens.”