Humor Quote by Jonathan Stroud — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Check out that one at the end. He's taken the form of a footstool. Weird...but somehow I like his style.”

“I wanted to wake you straightaway, but I knew I had to wait several hours to ensure you were safely recovered.”

“Sorry for what? Your appearance? Your character? Wait, I bet it’s your smell. Twenty-four hours of terror, violence, chases, and being for all intents and purposes dead plays havoc with the armpits. Don’t let Lockwood step downwind of you tonight, that’s all I’m saying.”

“Death is fugitive; even when you're watching for it, the actual instant somehow slips between your fingers. You don't get that sudden drop of the head you see in movies. Instead you simply sit there, waiting for something to happen, and all at once you realize you've missed it.”

“Grover wore his fake feet and his pants to pass as human. He wore a green rasta-style cap, because when it rained his curly hair flattened and you could just see the tips of his horns. His bright orange backpack was full of scrap metal and apples to snack on. In his pocket was a set of reed pipes his daddy goat had carved for him, even though he only knew two songs: Mozart's Piano Concerto no. 12 and Hilary Duff's "So Yesterday," both of which sounded pretty bad on reed pipes.”

“An Unbreakable Vow?" said Ron, looking stunned. "Nah, he can’t have.... Are you sure?”

“Insanity runs in my family, it practically gallops”

“Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.”

“You humans, always eating. I'll make you soup. You can eat it while you keep working." Myrnin set aside his book and walked into the back of the lab.”

“You're a stalker with hooves.”