Humor Quote by Susan Ee — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I look up to say something but he puts his finger to my lips and whispers, “Don’t talk. You’ll just spoil my fantasy of rescuing an innocent damsel in distress as soon as you open your mouth.”

“I’m fine, Mom. Thanks for asking.”

“Was that you, Pooky Bear?”

“In the long second before everyone absorbs what just happened, I see the angel rolling his eyes heavenward, like a teenager in the presence of overwhelming lameness. Some people just have no sense of gratitude.”

“Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well,”

“Before I leave the bathroom, I pinch my cheeks hard to bring blood to the surface of my skin. It’s stupid, but I don’t want to look weak and exhausted in front of everyone.”

“Want to have a short phone call with someone? Call them at 11:55 a.m., right before lunch. They'll talk fast. You may think you are interesting, but you are not more interesting than lunch.”

“I had fun last night," I told Patch, flicking off my chin strap and handing over my helmet. "I'm officially in love with your sheets.”

“In politics, stupidity is not a handicap.”

“I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can't fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it "sir" because it would be the dominant species on the planet. None of us would leave the house unless a Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider said it was okay”