Humor Quote by Steven Wright — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”

“If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”

“Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.”

“I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”

“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”

“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”

“You're probably wondering what's going to happen to you. That's easy. The same thing is going to happen to you that has happened to every other human being who has ever lived. You're going to die. We all die. That's just how it is.”

“From behind Lissa, I heard Christian say, "Worst. Timing. Ever." Adrian studied Lissa and then looked at Christain sprawling on the bed on the far side of the suite.”

“If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.”

“I’ve been drunk for about a week now, and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library.”

“I'm making a list”

“Don't look at me in that tone of voice.”