Humor Quote by Woody Allen — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.”

“Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college,”

“Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.”

“My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.”

“How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?”

“You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.”

“Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that.”

“I bet," said Mulch, "that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn.”

“Oh, of course," said Ron, clapping a hand to his forehead. "I forgot we'll be hunting down Voldemort in a mobile library.”

“Laughter is carbonated holiness.”

“Wylan drew himself up. “I may not have had your … education, but I’m sure I know plenty of words that you don’t.”

“Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the habit of writing every day so that when she shows up, you have the maximum chance of catching her, bashing her on the head, and squeezing every last drop out of that bitch.”