Humor Quote by Steven Wright — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.”

“Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?”

“Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”

“I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.”

“There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”

“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”

“Bravo," said Grimalkin, peering down from Cold Tom's chest. "The Winter prince and Oberon's jester agreeing on something. The world must be ending.”

“Just move to the Internet, its great here. We get to live inside where the weather is always awesome.”

“Puns are the highest form of literature.”

“I'm a 21st-century kid trapped in a 19th-century family.”

“In Ireland, you go to someone's house, and she asks you if you want a cup of tea. You say no, thank you, you're really just fine. She asks if you're”

“You know how spooky Ashwini is. She called an hour ago to tell me she has a secret stash of handheld grenade launchers she thought I might want to know about. My response was, 'What the fuck?”