Humor Quote by Steven Wright — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.”

“You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.”

“Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.”

“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”

“If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.”

“I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”

“No dumb bastard ever won a war by going out and dying for his country. He won it by making some other dumb bastard die for his country.”

“If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth writing.”

“Abe held my gaze a bit longer and then broke into an easy smile. ʺOf course, of course. This is a family gathering. A celebration. And look: hereʹs our newest member.ʺ”

“Unseen University had never admitted women, muttering something about problems with the plumbing, but the real reason was an unspoken dread that if women were allowed to mess around with magic they would probably be embarrassingly good at it…”

“I'm amazing and studly, but I have limits.”

“Sensitive," I tried.”