Humor Quote by Terry Pratchett — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Do you understand what I'm saying?”

“Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.”

“Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.”

“Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.”

“What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter.”

“Do you think it's possible for an entire nation to be insane?”

“If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal.”

“Let me be clear. Last I was aware you were neither my husband nor my father nor my King. Therefore, any control you may imagine you hold over me is just that- imaginary”

“There were people who believed their opportunities to live a fulfilled life were hampered by the number of Asians in England, by the existance of a royal family, by the volume of traffic that passed by their house, by the malice of trade unions, by the power of callous employers, by the refusal of the health service to take their condition seriously, by communism, by capitalism, by atheism, by anything, in fact, but their own futile, weak-minded failure to get a fucking grip.”

“Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.”

“Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.”

“There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, or liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal.”