Humor Quote by George Burns — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”

“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”

“Money is the root of all evil.' Then we hear, 'A fool and his money are soon parted.' What are they talking about? If money is so evil, shouldn't it be, 'A wise man and his money are soon parted'? And another thing, how does a fool get money in the first place? I know some fools who have a lot of money, but they won't tell me how they got it, and I won't tell them.”

“So," he called to her back, "Just out of curiosity, you know, purely conversation and all, at what age”

“Your own brain ought to have the decency to be on your side!”

“That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.”

“Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation.”

“WATNEY: Look! A pair of boobs! -> (.Y.).”

“How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?”