Humor Quote by Terry Pratchett — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.”

“Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans!”

“This is very similar to the suggestion put forward by the Quirmian philosopher Ventre, who said, "Possibly the gods exist, and possibly they do not. So why not believe in them in any case? If it's all true you'll go to a lovely place when you die, and if it isn't then you've lost nothing, right?" When he died he woke up in a circle of gods holding nasty-looking sticks and one of them said, "We're going to show you what we think of Mr Clever Dick in these parts...”

“Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.”

“Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.”

“In the words of the philosopher Sceptum, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?”

“If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.”

“Breeze strolled over to the table and chose a seat with his characteristic decorum. The portly man raised his dueling cane, pointing it at Ham. 'I see that my period of intellectual respite has come to an end.'”

“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”

“In eternity there is no time, only an instant long enough for a joke.”

“Holey? You have the the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?”

“I have made a lot of mistakes falling in love, and regretted”