Humor Quote by Andy Weir — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I'll have to risk it.”

“Log Entry: SOL 118”

“Grumpy. Angry. Stupid. How long since last sleep, question?”

“Work fast.”

“I'm calling it the Watney Triangle because after what I've been through, shit on Mars should be named after me.”

“Knock-knock-knock”

“Are you guys busy?" Juniper asked.”

“His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad,”

“He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.”

“Okay," I said. "Just a normal afternoon and two normal people.”

“There was a dragon who had a long-standing obsession with a queen's breasts," she said, growing breathless. "The dragon knew the penalty to touch her would mean death, yet he revealed his secret desire to the king's chief doctor. This man promised he could arrange for the dragon to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him one thousand gold coins." She spread her soapy hands over his nipples, then down his arms. "Though he didn't have the money, the dragon readily agreed to the scheme.”

“Deadlines just aren't real to me until I'm staring one in the face.”