Humor Quote by Woody Allen — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”

“Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.”

“You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.”

“Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.”

“I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”

“If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.”

“Oliver laughed - actually laughed."I like this new Claire," he said.”

“I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can't fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it "sir" because it would be the dominant species on the planet. None of us would leave the house unless a Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider said it was okay”

“Aim high. You may still miss the target, but at least you won't shoot your foot off.”

“That's ridiculous." Especially the part about Christian being manly.”

“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”

“We're playing Scrabble. It's a nightmare.”