Humor Quote by Dorothy Parker — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Little Words”

“Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.”

“But I give you my word, in the entire book there is nothing that cannot be said aloud in mixed company. And there is, also, nothing that makes you a bit the wiser. I wonder--oh, what will you think of me--if those two statements do not verge upon the synonymous.”

“I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.”

“There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.”

“The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.”

“Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.”

“How do you feel right now?”

“I've noticed that when people are joking they're usually dead serious, and when they're serious, they're usually pretty funny.”

“It seems that the young woman made some indelicate suggestion of a threesome...When I got there, Miss Nash was standing by the hot tub in a small bikini, pointing the business end of a SIG-Sauer P-226 at her fella and concerned members of the hotel staff, while dunking the scantily clad female's head under the water and asking, "Who's diving for clams now, bitch?”

“Is this one of those keep-your-friends-close-and-your-enemies-closer things?”

“Running ain't no bad thing. Leastways if you run in the right direction.”