Humor Quote by Woody Allen — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“My brain? That's my second favorite organ.”

“Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”

“Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.”

“If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.”

“If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.”

“I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time.”

“Even now, despite Angeline's watchfulness, she'd occasionally oscillate between random topics, like how shepherd's pie wasn't a pie at all and why it was pointless for her to take class in typing when technology would eventually develop robot companions to do it for us.”

“Roger, he has a chain saw," I hissed. "I am not going to die in Kentucky!”

“It wasn’t until I’d walked halfway across the parking lot that I realized: 1. I wasn’t wearing shoes.”

“...inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.”

“Look on the bright side," said Simon, "If they need a human sacrifice, you can always offer me. I'm not sure the rest of you qualify anyway.”

“Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.”