Humor Quote by George Carlin — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it's trying to save its body.”

“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”

“I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.”

“Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!”

“Life is tough, then you die.”

“I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.”

“The story so far:”

“Unrequited love is so boring. Weeping under a blue-black sky is for suckers or maniacs.”

“Life is All About How you Handle Plan B”

“I still don't belong to anyone - I am mine.”

“This is what it's all been about with you," he said in an even tone. "All the fear, all the running. The nightmares." When she nodded, he said, "You called him the devil.”

“Do I look stupid?" snarled Uncle Vernon, a bit of fried egg dangling from his bushy mustache.”