Humor Quote by Woody Allen — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I took a speed-reading course and read”

“Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.”

“Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.”

“Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college,”

“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”

“I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time.”

“Pretty soon the only people left without a girlfriend will be me and Wendell the school janitor, and he smells like windex.”

“Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There is too much fraternizing with the enemy.”

“You can knock on a deaf man's door forever.”

“I wanted to wake you straightaway, but I knew I had to wait several hours to ensure you were safely recovered.”

“There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, or liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal.”

“There are any number of magical creatures, mostly female, whose singing can bring about horror and death. Sirens, undines, banshees, Bananarama tribute bands...”