Humor Quote by Woody Allen — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”

“Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.”

“I took a speed-reading course and read”

“If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.”

“If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.”

“You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.”

“Darwin says people like you need to die.” (Carrow)”

“I'll take the cemetery," Kane said. He didn't sound excited. Rather, he sounded resigned. "The club might collapse if I go.”

“Sebastian just smiled. “I could hear your heart beating,” he said softly. “When you were watching me with Valentine. Did it bother you?”

“The first ten million years were the worst," said Marvin, "and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million years I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.”

“I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.”

“Something bad was about to happen. My wife was being clever again.”