Humor Quote by James Patterson — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Who, last time I'd checked, was still on our official archenemy list. (Yes, we have to keep a list. It's kind of sad.)”

“Max, you're the last of the hybrids who still has...a soul.' ... 'She doesn't have soul,' Gazzy scoffed. 'Have you ever seen her dance?”

“Max, if you survive your final test, can you steal me one of those magic outfits for me?”

“Yes, Max, you are going to die. Just like everybody else.”

“I didn't know a van could go up on two wheels like that, for so long." -Nudge”

“I want to do it too!" (sitting motionless)”

“Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken!”

“People talk too much. Humans aren't descended from monkeys. They come from parrots.”

“Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head.”

“It seemed weird calling a teenager 'sir' but I'd learned to be careful with immortals. They tended to get offended easily. Then, they blew stuff up.”

“Aziraphale collected books. If he were totally honest with himself he would have to have admitted that his bookshop was simply somewhere to store them. He was not unusual in this. In order to maintain his cover as a typical second-hand book seller, he used every means short of actual physical violence to prevent customers from making a purchase. Unpleasant damp smells, glowering looks, erratic opening hours - he was incredibly good at it.”

“People who smile while they are alone used to be called insane, until we invented smartphones and social media.”