Humor Quote by George Carlin — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck”

“I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.”

“Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.”

“In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.”

“Some people see things that are and ask, Why?”

“There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.”

“If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.”

“Well,” she said. “I’m frustrated.”

“And a special thanks for not burning up the whole ship. Including yourself, you daft bum-rag.”

“Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin.”

“When did you become a woman?"-Hatori”

“Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?”