Humor Quote by George Carlin — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked.”

“Life is tough, then you die.”

“I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.”

“Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom”

“I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.”

“People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life.'”

“Why are we bringing him along, again?" Will inquired, of the world in general as well as his sister.”

“Bravo," said Grimalkin, peering down from Cold Tom's chest. "The Winter prince and Oberon's jester agreeing on something. The world must be ending.”

“Film lovers are sick people.”

“There's no room for demons when you're self-possessed.”

“How do you deal with it?" Kami asked Jared. "The laughing at nothing and occasionally stopping dead in your tracks.”

“You saw my leg?”