Humor Quote by J.K. Rowling — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Harry Potter," he said very softly. His voice might have been part of the spitting fire. "The Boy Who Lived.”

“Bad news, Harry. I've just been to see Professor McGonagall about the Firebolt. She – er, got a bit shirty with me. Told me I'd got my priorities wrong. Seemed to think I cared more about winning the Cup than I do about staying alive. Just because I told her I didn't care if it threw you off, as long as you caught the Snitch first.”

“If you think I'm going to let six people risk their lives - !'”

“Birth and death: there was the same consciousness of heightened existence and of her own elevated importance”

“Nobody's ever asked me to a party before, as a friend. Is that why you dyed your eyebrow, for the party? Should I do mine too?”

“And Death spoke to them —’”

“Dear Asshole: Thank you for keeping your word and believing me. It was more than I expected. Also, I'm sorry you were inconvenienced by my gluing your locker shut at the beginning of this year. However, I am not sorry that I did it, because it was a lot of fun. Love, Alex.”

“Michael has never cried during a Broadway show. Except in that scene where Tarzan's ape father is brutally murdered.”

“Which meant his only assets were one whiny imprisoned goddess, one sort-of-girlfriend with a dagger, and Leo, who apparently thought he could defeat the armies of darkness with breath mints.”

“Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.”

“Piece of Heaven?”

“It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!”