Humor Quote by Mark Twain — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.”

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

“I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”

“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.”

“Herodotus says, "Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all: the conscientious historian will correct these defects.”

“The exercise of an extraordinary gift is the supremest pleasure in life.”

“Don't Panic.”

“Just wait until he figures out I shut him out of his slut hut.”

“Shigure: "Lemme guess; you lost your temper and yelled at her again, right? You know, you shouldn't do that if you're just going to regret it. Not too bright, now is it?”

“Speak in French when you can’t think of the English for a thing--”

“Cut my pie into four pieces, I don’t think I could eat eight.”

“Who wants to go down the creepy tunnel inside the tomb first?”